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I am in the early stages of a tenure-track job at an R1 university. Recently, I've become romantically involved with a student in our PhD program; she's a 2nd year who recently finished her quals and is in the midst of finding an advisor.

What started as a fling has turned quite serious, and we are both happy. I was her mentor at the start of her graduate studies although not any longer.

I'm considering leaving academia for a role as data scientist at a drug discovery lab, primarily so that her and I can progress in our relationship, e.g. moving in together, getting married, having kids.

What are some things to consider before I make the jump and hand in my resignation?

Will I have a chance to return to academia if it turns out that my decision was regrettable?

You need to look at your university's regulations. As far as I know, employees are not allowed to develop relationships only if there is a direct relationship, i.e. you are the student's academic supervisor, teaching her a course, etc. But otherwise, you should understand your organization's regulations before losing your job.

Also, as a suggestion, why not waiting the student till she graduate to make a win-win deal? If she really into you, she would accept, as your success is also hers. That's my own personal opinion.

What are some things to consider before I make the jump and hand in my resignation?

• Is she on the same page with you? (personally, I would not consider this without being engaged with a date set). In particular, consider that this will affect her career, particularly since she still has ~4 more years left at the university.


• Is the industry job set in stone? Do they realize why you are leaving academia? Depending on your field and university, it is likely that these groups are close enough that they will talk.


• Do you like the industry job? Some industry jobs are great, but some are less so, and none are really identical to a faculty job. You will not want to resent your partner for ruining your career.


• Is there any way to keep this "above board"? It would be nice if you could both maintain your positions. Assuming there's no way you would be allowed to date a student, you may want to look into switching departments, titles, or universities rather than leaving academia altogether.

Will I have a chance to return to academia if it turns out that my decision was regrettable?

I doubt it -- it sounds like you are already dating a student, which is likely a serious breach of ethics and/or policy, and one that people will talk about. Further, faculty positions are exceptionally difficult to get at the best of times; trying to recover one after you quit under these circumstances seems unlikely at best.

You really need to evaluate all the parts to this and examine what are the consequences if something goes wrong, ie:

Relationship is good but job falls over, what happens?

Job is good, relationship fails, what happens?

I wish you all the best, but just think it through.

First of all, congratulations on having one of the more adorable reasons to leave academia!

More to the point. You and your partner should look at the implications of what you are doing.

My assumptions:

1. You and your partner are both responsible adults who fully understand what getting into a serious relationship means.


2. You two are on the same page: equally committed to see this relationship through, and are seeing this as (much) more than just a fling.


3. Your data scientist position is not going to offer you many opportunities to publish. If it's a research position that allows you to publish regularly then you may even have an advantage! Industry researchers like in Microsoft Research or Google DeepMind are often considered to be the best of the best.

What you might want to consider:

1. 
   Short Term: is there even a problem? Does your university explicitly forbid relationships between staff and students, even if there's no direct professional relation? This is true in my university, but yours might be different. Some universities simply require that you two report your relationship to HR and that's it. Whether you should report it to anyone else (e.g. department heads) is really up to you assuming you can continue. It really depends on the nature of your department(s) and how things should be perceived, and your own personal relationships with your department heads.


2. 
   Mid Term: if it turns out that you can't both be in your current positions, then you need to sit down for a very serious conversation. This means that one of you is going to have to make a serious career move/potential sacrifice. It may be that your partner's move is the less costly one if she's just started her studies. PhD students switch programs for all
   kinds of reasons all the time. Giving up on academia altogether (or
   taking a long hiatus from which you're not likely to return) is a
   very different ballgame. I'm not saying that one choice is better
   than the other - that really depends on your relationship and what
   sacrifices are involved (say, you were already thinking of leaving
   academia in a year or two, or your partner is on the verge of an
   academic breakthrough that'll land her a paper in Nature/PNAS), but
   several conversations need to be had before you up and leave!


3. 
   Long Term: if indeed you make that decision and leave academia, you both have to be prepared for this decision to potentially echo throughout your relationship. It could be that you are moving to your dream job, and that your partner is currently unknowingly saving you from what would've been a career path that you'd end up hating. However, you did spend 10+ years preparing for just this job, invested years of undergraduate, PhD, postdoc (maybe), maybe some internships, just to get this job. You will give it up for your partner, which is a serious sacrifice to make, one that may come back to you when times are low (and they will be, as in any normal relationship). Your partner should be prepared to understand what this means; she may not be if she just started her foray into academia. I have met several couples where one partner had to put their career on hold for the other's career. The classic example is the spouse that follows their partner around on multiple postdocs, with very real long-term effects on their career. This kind of sacrifice puts a strain even on well-established relationships (married several years with kids etc.), let alone on a newly started one.

Good luck!