Ignoring Someone as Wrongful Speech












3















I am in an odd situation. Someone I know, who was my friend, now seems to have developped feelings towards me. I wish to give her space, but we are in contact electronically and text. She is extremely distraught by this situation. I cannot help but feel angry when she messages me, for various reasons. I feel that sometimes, the best answer for me is to remain silent. But in doing so, she feels ignored, and suffers.



What is the best course of action in a situation like this? Is ignoring someone wrong speech in this case?










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    3















    I am in an odd situation. Someone I know, who was my friend, now seems to have developped feelings towards me. I wish to give her space, but we are in contact electronically and text. She is extremely distraught by this situation. I cannot help but feel angry when she messages me, for various reasons. I feel that sometimes, the best answer for me is to remain silent. But in doing so, she feels ignored, and suffers.



    What is the best course of action in a situation like this? Is ignoring someone wrong speech in this case?










    share|improve this question

























      3












      3








      3








      I am in an odd situation. Someone I know, who was my friend, now seems to have developped feelings towards me. I wish to give her space, but we are in contact electronically and text. She is extremely distraught by this situation. I cannot help but feel angry when she messages me, for various reasons. I feel that sometimes, the best answer for me is to remain silent. But in doing so, she feels ignored, and suffers.



      What is the best course of action in a situation like this? Is ignoring someone wrong speech in this case?










      share|improve this question














      I am in an odd situation. Someone I know, who was my friend, now seems to have developped feelings towards me. I wish to give her space, but we are in contact electronically and text. She is extremely distraught by this situation. I cannot help but feel angry when she messages me, for various reasons. I feel that sometimes, the best answer for me is to remain silent. But in doing so, she feels ignored, and suffers.



      What is the best course of action in a situation like this? Is ignoring someone wrong speech in this case?







      right-speech






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      asked 2 hours ago









      EggmanEggman

      1,646514




      1,646514






















          2 Answers
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          As a Buddhist, your boundaries & conduct in relationship should be clearly communicated. Just be honest with her.






          share|improve this answer































            -1














            One might ignore this answers message, so be careful here!



            Another try in Alice in wonderland, feeling disturbed by Alice, to excuse by asking others to confirm the votes of defilements?



            Even your question here might be wrong speech, Humpty Dumpty. A good name by the way. Caught by the tricks of defilements.



            If someone sends you advertising, saying "come, make a trade for it", and one knows that it would no trade for long term happiness, would he take the offer?



            It's of course wrong speech (giving signs) to simply keep "others warm" thinking: " I might lose an opportunity to gain", fearing "If I show signs not going into this certain deal, he/she might stop offer at all and he/she could posssible offer this or that later on if thinking I am interested in trade."



            That is why honesty comes before keeping up relations, Silas are not lower as pleasant dwelling like sheep .



            On the other hand, one needs to be careful that defilement do not misuse this understanding as well. Thought of the Uposatha of the wolf. Difficult. And easy if honest to oneself first, but that is the difficult part.



            See him falling from his wall?



            How may good did you already tried to "kill" by ignoring it (them)? Many "Buddhists" are using abstain from giving signs as signs and as one is able to "kill trolls" one might "kill sages" by same means. Now this is not really breaking the silas (as outwardly rules) but much heavier, kamma by mind and even very deceitful.



            Best wishes by an karuna, defilement's Jabberwocky



            {Note: not given for trade, exchange, stackes... but only for liberation and bounds toward only this}






            share|improve this answer










            New contributor




            Samana Johann is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
            Check out our Code of Conduct.




















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              2 Answers
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              2 Answers
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              active

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              active

              oldest

              votes






              active

              oldest

              votes









              3














              As a Buddhist, your boundaries & conduct in relationship should be clearly communicated. Just be honest with her.






              share|improve this answer




























                3














                As a Buddhist, your boundaries & conduct in relationship should be clearly communicated. Just be honest with her.






                share|improve this answer


























                  3












                  3








                  3







                  As a Buddhist, your boundaries & conduct in relationship should be clearly communicated. Just be honest with her.






                  share|improve this answer













                  As a Buddhist, your boundaries & conduct in relationship should be clearly communicated. Just be honest with her.







                  share|improve this answer












                  share|improve this answer



                  share|improve this answer










                  answered 1 hour ago









                  DhammadhatuDhammadhatu

                  25.2k11044




                  25.2k11044























                      -1














                      One might ignore this answers message, so be careful here!



                      Another try in Alice in wonderland, feeling disturbed by Alice, to excuse by asking others to confirm the votes of defilements?



                      Even your question here might be wrong speech, Humpty Dumpty. A good name by the way. Caught by the tricks of defilements.



                      If someone sends you advertising, saying "come, make a trade for it", and one knows that it would no trade for long term happiness, would he take the offer?



                      It's of course wrong speech (giving signs) to simply keep "others warm" thinking: " I might lose an opportunity to gain", fearing "If I show signs not going into this certain deal, he/she might stop offer at all and he/she could posssible offer this or that later on if thinking I am interested in trade."



                      That is why honesty comes before keeping up relations, Silas are not lower as pleasant dwelling like sheep .



                      On the other hand, one needs to be careful that defilement do not misuse this understanding as well. Thought of the Uposatha of the wolf. Difficult. And easy if honest to oneself first, but that is the difficult part.



                      See him falling from his wall?



                      How may good did you already tried to "kill" by ignoring it (them)? Many "Buddhists" are using abstain from giving signs as signs and as one is able to "kill trolls" one might "kill sages" by same means. Now this is not really breaking the silas (as outwardly rules) but much heavier, kamma by mind and even very deceitful.



                      Best wishes by an karuna, defilement's Jabberwocky



                      {Note: not given for trade, exchange, stackes... but only for liberation and bounds toward only this}






                      share|improve this answer










                      New contributor




                      Samana Johann is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                      Check out our Code of Conduct.

























                        -1














                        One might ignore this answers message, so be careful here!



                        Another try in Alice in wonderland, feeling disturbed by Alice, to excuse by asking others to confirm the votes of defilements?



                        Even your question here might be wrong speech, Humpty Dumpty. A good name by the way. Caught by the tricks of defilements.



                        If someone sends you advertising, saying "come, make a trade for it", and one knows that it would no trade for long term happiness, would he take the offer?



                        It's of course wrong speech (giving signs) to simply keep "others warm" thinking: " I might lose an opportunity to gain", fearing "If I show signs not going into this certain deal, he/she might stop offer at all and he/she could posssible offer this or that later on if thinking I am interested in trade."



                        That is why honesty comes before keeping up relations, Silas are not lower as pleasant dwelling like sheep .



                        On the other hand, one needs to be careful that defilement do not misuse this understanding as well. Thought of the Uposatha of the wolf. Difficult. And easy if honest to oneself first, but that is the difficult part.



                        See him falling from his wall?



                        How may good did you already tried to "kill" by ignoring it (them)? Many "Buddhists" are using abstain from giving signs as signs and as one is able to "kill trolls" one might "kill sages" by same means. Now this is not really breaking the silas (as outwardly rules) but much heavier, kamma by mind and even very deceitful.



                        Best wishes by an karuna, defilement's Jabberwocky



                        {Note: not given for trade, exchange, stackes... but only for liberation and bounds toward only this}






                        share|improve this answer










                        New contributor




                        Samana Johann is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                        Check out our Code of Conduct.























                          -1












                          -1








                          -1







                          One might ignore this answers message, so be careful here!



                          Another try in Alice in wonderland, feeling disturbed by Alice, to excuse by asking others to confirm the votes of defilements?



                          Even your question here might be wrong speech, Humpty Dumpty. A good name by the way. Caught by the tricks of defilements.



                          If someone sends you advertising, saying "come, make a trade for it", and one knows that it would no trade for long term happiness, would he take the offer?



                          It's of course wrong speech (giving signs) to simply keep "others warm" thinking: " I might lose an opportunity to gain", fearing "If I show signs not going into this certain deal, he/she might stop offer at all and he/she could posssible offer this or that later on if thinking I am interested in trade."



                          That is why honesty comes before keeping up relations, Silas are not lower as pleasant dwelling like sheep .



                          On the other hand, one needs to be careful that defilement do not misuse this understanding as well. Thought of the Uposatha of the wolf. Difficult. And easy if honest to oneself first, but that is the difficult part.



                          See him falling from his wall?



                          How may good did you already tried to "kill" by ignoring it (them)? Many "Buddhists" are using abstain from giving signs as signs and as one is able to "kill trolls" one might "kill sages" by same means. Now this is not really breaking the silas (as outwardly rules) but much heavier, kamma by mind and even very deceitful.



                          Best wishes by an karuna, defilement's Jabberwocky



                          {Note: not given for trade, exchange, stackes... but only for liberation and bounds toward only this}






                          share|improve this answer










                          New contributor




                          Samana Johann is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                          Check out our Code of Conduct.










                          One might ignore this answers message, so be careful here!



                          Another try in Alice in wonderland, feeling disturbed by Alice, to excuse by asking others to confirm the votes of defilements?



                          Even your question here might be wrong speech, Humpty Dumpty. A good name by the way. Caught by the tricks of defilements.



                          If someone sends you advertising, saying "come, make a trade for it", and one knows that it would no trade for long term happiness, would he take the offer?



                          It's of course wrong speech (giving signs) to simply keep "others warm" thinking: " I might lose an opportunity to gain", fearing "If I show signs not going into this certain deal, he/she might stop offer at all and he/she could posssible offer this or that later on if thinking I am interested in trade."



                          That is why honesty comes before keeping up relations, Silas are not lower as pleasant dwelling like sheep .



                          On the other hand, one needs to be careful that defilement do not misuse this understanding as well. Thought of the Uposatha of the wolf. Difficult. And easy if honest to oneself first, but that is the difficult part.



                          See him falling from his wall?



                          How may good did you already tried to "kill" by ignoring it (them)? Many "Buddhists" are using abstain from giving signs as signs and as one is able to "kill trolls" one might "kill sages" by same means. Now this is not really breaking the silas (as outwardly rules) but much heavier, kamma by mind and even very deceitful.



                          Best wishes by an karuna, defilement's Jabberwocky



                          {Note: not given for trade, exchange, stackes... but only for liberation and bounds toward only this}







                          share|improve this answer










                          New contributor




                          Samana Johann is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                          Check out our Code of Conduct.









                          share|improve this answer



                          share|improve this answer








                          edited 1 hour ago





















                          New contributor




                          Samana Johann is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                          Check out our Code of Conduct.









                          answered 2 hours ago









                          Samana JohannSamana Johann

                          11




                          11




                          New contributor




                          Samana Johann is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                          Check out our Code of Conduct.





                          New contributor





                          Samana Johann is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                          Check out our Code of Conduct.






                          Samana Johann is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                          Check out our Code of Conduct.






























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